


Clown sucked my cock at mosh pit

by thefuckistevvs



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Drunkness, M/M, References to Oral Sex, So did you guys see the new junkrat skin, throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 07:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18426042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefuckistevvs/pseuds/thefuckistevvs
Summary: Mako cant stop thinking about that clown that sucked his dick at the moshpit





	Clown sucked my cock at mosh pit

**Author's Note:**

> Hello i have no excuse for this

Personals >

Men Seeking Men

***Clown sucked my cock at mosh pit**

_Last friday yuo were at the mosh pit at the Holicant concert in th e east area.u were dressed as a clown with blue hair and a pink nose and white facepaint_

_You suckd my cock while we were at the moshpit. I was the biker guy with black leather jacket and long silver hair and cock rings. U specifically said “honk for the hog” and then choked on my cock._

_Plz contact me I think ur cute._

 

That should do.

Mako clicked enter, and the ad was posted on Craiglist. He was pretty drunk, which was honestly the only reason he wrote the damn ad on the first place. But his drunken mind told him it was a great idea. He would probably regret it in the morning but whatever.

 

He was pretty drunk and high during the moshpit, too. The clown looked high as fuck, too. He couldn’t remember how exactly it is that they met, or how the clown started just sucking his dick. Man, it was such a good suck though. 

 

Mako proceeded to pass out drunk on the floor of his apartment, thinking about that clown. 

 

\---

 

About a week has passed since he posted the ridiculous ad on craiglist. He didn’t even bother checking the replies, he knew he would get a lot of dickpics. 

After a hard day at the construction site, Mako was ready to call it a day and relax for the rest of the weekend. Or well, that was the idea anyways. His coworkers were planning on going bar hopping, and at first Mako wasn’t going to agree, but honestly, a little bit of booze didn’t sound too bad. 

Several hours passed, and they hopped from one bar to the other. Each time, Mako bought the most ridiculous, nastiest sounding drinks. The Cumshot, the Abortion, The Overwatch- each one of them most disgusting than the other one. The Hulk made his tongue burn a little, and at that point his coworkers were very wasted. He was still a bit sober, not too far gone since he had a bigger alcohol tolerance (must be because of how big he is, huh). 

They made it to the last bar, and Mako instantly knew he was in a gay bar. His very heterosexuals coworkers were too drunk to realize, and they all sat down to order some drinks. 

“Be right back, gotta piss,” Mako said as he stood up and made his way towards the bathroom.

As he pissed, he took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked okay, eyes a bit glassed over, image a bit blurry- no, wait. That was the shitty mirror. Okay. He swayed a little bit and told to himself, one last drink. One More, and time to call it a night. He didn’t want to puke in front of his coworkers. 

After washing his hands, he squeezed through the doors to return to the table.

“Hey,”

Mako heard a very familiar voice. He turned around and saw, deadass, a guy in a Ronald Mcdonalds costume. 

Mako blinked. He rubbed his face and looked again. 

Yeah, Ronald Mcdonalds was still there. 

“Get tha Jolly Rancher dildo, mate.” He smiled, red lipstick smeared on his mouth like he just ate it instead of applying it. “Real good if ya want some shit.”

“Okay, Ronald Mcdonalds,” he said as he returned to his table. They were just about to order their drinks, only for Mako interrupt. “Jolly Rancher Dildo, please.”

Excited, everybody else ordered one as well. 

When the drinks were ready, every drink was a different color. His was hot pink, and had a pink jolly rancher at the bottom. 

“It’s a shot, you have to drink it,” the waiter pointed. “Jolly rancher and all.” 

Instantly, everybody drank their shot. 

It was like…

It tasted like someone had poured straight vodka in a glass, and poured pure sugar and syrup down it. He didn’t mean to swallow the jolly rancher, but it went straight down his throat. 

They all slammed the empty glasses on the table. Few seconds of silence passed, and Jonathan was the first one to break down.

His puke was bright yellow, just like the drink he had taken. He immediately stood up and ran to the bathroom, trying to not puke over any more things. Shortly after, his other coworkers followed, trying to not puke a rainbow on the floor.

Mako’s vision blurred. He felt like he was swaying. Okay, time to go home. 

When he turned to pay for what they owed (and maybe some extra to cover for the puke), Ronald McDonalds was sitting next to him.

Mako focused his eyes. “Hey”

“Do I know ya, bud?” Ronald McDonalds was staring at him, with that fucking red afro of his.

“I fucking hate Mcdonalds.”

“I know, right? Burger King is better. But they weren’t hiring.”

Ronald kept saying words but Mako couldn’t understand them.

“Oh!” Ronald had a sudden realization. “You’re Hot Biker!”

“Huh?”

“Moshpit, last week, Holicant Concert? Honk for the Hog?”

Mako’s drunk mind recognized him immediately. Behind the paint and the red nose, he could see the clown from the moshpit.

Oh, God. Ronald McDonalds sucked his dick. 

“Wanna make out?”

Oh, _God_. He was going to make out with Ronald McDonalds.

 

He started to make out with Ronald McDonalds.

The clown tasted of jolly rancher, too. He didn’t know Ronald McDonalds liked alcohol. The clown paint was oily and getting all over his face, and his red hair was rubbing against his temple. 

Normally Mako was a good kisser, but god he was super wasted. He tried to grab the clown’s ass, but he missed by a very big margin, knocking the empty glass on the floor. Thankfully, it didn’t shatter. 

“I’m gonna,” Mako tried to stand up but his head was spinning too fast. “Whoa.”

“Hey mate ya bit drunk eh? Okay, lets get ya home.”

“You’re drunk too.”

“You’re more drunk, though. Come on, where do ya live? I’ll get you an Uber.”

“I want to fuck you in my kitchen,” he slurred out. “Wanna lick your clown ass”

“Oh mate, sounds so good. Come on, I’ll get ya home. Where ya live?”

Mako’s coworkers returned. Everyone lost their shit at Ronald McDonalds, taking pictures of him. They seemed a bit more sober now that they threw out the alcohol. From what Mako could get, they all called Ubers to get home. Mako would have, but his fingers were too big and the screen was so stupid and he was so dizzy.

Ronald McDonalds got him an Uber, and as they waited for it Mako started to laugh hysterically at the fact that Ronald McDonalds got him an Uber. 

“This is your ride, big guy.” Ronald opened the door and Mkao just barely got there, but he was getting too drunk. Ronald accompanied him to help him get home.

He kept laughing hysterically, then proceeded to insult Ronald because Wendy burgers were better. And what happened to the McRib, anyways?  
Then Mako proceeded to talk about his favorite Starbucks drinks, and how he found a recipe for the red berry frappuccino on the internet but it wasn’t the _same_. His niece worked at starbucks, though. Maybe he could get the recipe from her? God he just loves those shakes. Ronald Mcdonalds said he doesn't like starbucks and Mako agreed. Overpriced shit. 

Mako didn’t notice when the car stopped, only that the clown was helping him out.

“What apartment, hot biker dude?” Ronald asked.

“Uh, thir...thirty. Thirty.”

He kept almost falling, but Ronald kept him in check. When they reached his door, Mako tried to dig through his pockets for his keys, but kept missing. 

“I’ll help ya, bud.” 

He felt fingers in his pocket, and he giggled. The clown opened the door, and got inside. 

“Gonna- gonna fuck ya,” Mako laughed. “Gonna fuck that sweet clown ass. Do you honk when you fuck?”

“Once, when I swallowed a squeaky toy, hahahahaha!” Ronald laughed. 

Mako had all the intention to fuck the clown, but god the world wouldn’t stop spinning. He stared at the clown for several seconds, propped against the wall.

“You’re cute”

Then he threw up.

 

\---

 

It felt like someone was hammering the inside of his head. His stomach hurt, and he felt the puke on his throat. The world felt like it was screaming, but there was no loud noises.  
He rubbed his eyes trying to kill the pain. 

God, he drank way too fucking much.

He drank so much he hallucinated Ronald McDonalds on the bar.

Thankfully it was saturday, but god it felt like the hangover was going to last years. 

Mako was going to stay in bed all day, but he heard noises coming from the kitchen.

His first thought was Robbers. Did he left the door open? He was so drunk he couldn’t remember. He stood up quietly, silently sneaking from his room to the kitchen- difficult due to his massive size. 

Mako thought he was having a stroke.

Ronald McDonalds was standing on his kitchen, cooking eggs.

“Oh hey, ye’re up!”

“Oh,” Mako hissed, his head hurting. “I didn’t dream last night, did I?”

“Nope! All Real. Made ya some eggs.”

Mako suddenly remembered what he had said the previous day.

“Oh, god. Did we fuck?”

“Nah mate, ya were too drunk. What’s the fun in that? Ya puked jolly rancher pink, then told me your dick was the size of an Arizona Iced Tea can, and passed out,” he laughed. “Ya got pretty bomb dick, I gotta say, but not that big.”

Mako would have felt incredibly embarrassed, but his headache was too intense. 

“You’re the clown from the Moshpit, no?”

“Roight! Me name is Jamison Fawkes, what is yers?”

“Mako Rutledge.” 

“Aight Mako, nice to meet ya! I made ya eggs!”

He put some of the scrambled eggs in a plate and put them in the small dining table Mako had. 

“Why are you here. Why did you help me?” Mako said, as he sat down and proceeded to eat his eggs.

“I felt bad cus I suggested the Jolly Rancher Dildo.” He had served himself the rest of the eggs. “Also, i couldn’t stop thinking about ya cock, and you’re real fucking hot. But mostly felt bad about tha’ drink.”

Mako sighed. Okay, fair enough. He was still hung over, but he was sure that he was going to be really happy about the coincidence once he felt better.

“Can I ask you a question?” Mako asked.

“Sure! Ask anythin’!”

“Why are you dressed like Ronald McDonalds?”

“I work at McDonalds, my man. Take pics with kiddies, offer burgers, etcetera.”

“But why were you wearing it at the bar?”

“Because it's funny as shit!” He proceeded to laugh.

Now that Mako looked at him, he had taken off the red wig, and his blond hair was smushed in different directions. Most of the makeup was gone, but he was still wearing the Ronald McDonalds clothes. 

“Hey, once tha’ hangover is over, ya wanna fuck?”

Mako didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Yeah, sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr!](http://whatthefuckistevvs.tumblr.com/)  
> [My Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thefuckistevvs)  
> Y'all like Roadrat? Check out these Roadrat Discords i am Part of!
> 
> https://discord.gg/TExtAwW
> 
> https://discord.gg/HUTZSAF
> 
> Hit me up if you want to talk about the Junkers!!!


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